The Stillness Project: June 2014

The Fragility of our Existence.

The recent loss of the mother of a dear friend has once again brought my attention and focus on the subject of death and dying. Twenty years as an ambulance-man/paramedic showed to me the fragility of this existence, whether it was the tragedy of a road traffic accident, a child’s sudden death, the ravages of war, or the onset of old age and disease, the circumstance of each death may have been different but the net result was always the same.

Peter’s mum was in her eighties when she passed away, my mother-in-law, the beautiful Li Zhen was 84. Although still in good health my teacher and great inspiration dear Thây, (Thich Nhat Hanh), is now 89, my mother is 83, I am 61 in a few days time. Whilst I can enjoy their company now, I know that life is only as long as the next heartbeat.

There have been times when “a near miss” has made me contemplate the fragility of my own existence, twice when caught in storms in the western approaches, three times when guns were directed at me, (including the one occasion when a shot was fired!), plus a couple very close shaves being reckless whilst riding motorbikes. But it was the 4-way bypass in 2003, and being told a year later that the surgeon had cut one of the grafts too long and that when in intensive care it had kinked and popped allowing the heart to pump life’s blood into the chest cavity, that I had the realisation that death for me was only one heartbeat away, this changed my perspective and confirmed the fragility of "my" existence. The Grim Reaper visited looked at his list and passed me by, I know one day the emissary form the nether world will stop and tap me on the shoulder and it will be my turn.

In the west dying has to some extent become so sanitized we distance ourselves from the thought of dying, but dying is as much a part of life as life its self, what matters is…… how we live our life. When we touch stillness, we give ourselves the opportunity to meditate and bring mindfulness into our everyday existence and enjoy life fully in this moment, the present moment, this heartbeat.

Thich Nhat Hanh on Embracing Reality:
The Five Remembrances

When you deny the reality of life, you appreciate it less. Meditate on the Buddha’s Five Remembrances and rediscover the magic of life just as it is.

I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old.

I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape ill health.

I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death.

All that is dear to me and everyone I love  are of the nature to change.

There is no way to escape  being separated from them.

My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions.

My actions are the ground upon which I stand.

Leon Edwards