Winds of Change.

As a young boy walking down to the fish quay I would often stop and read the poem carved on the door knocker of a fisherman's cottage over looking the harbour, it read...

The wind blows east,
The wind blows west,
It's the self same wind that blows.
But it's the set of the sails
And not the gales
That tell which way to go!

In the lines, "It's the set of the sails and not the gales that tell which way to go" we learn that even though the journey may be difficult, it is still possible for the ship to sail against the wind and reach its destination. So it is we mortals, sometimes our life is like a ship on a difficult passage, the winds of change conspire against us and we have to change tack again and again beating to windward to make headway.

Yesterday I spoke to two different men, both about fifty, their stories where completely different but the analogy of the sailing ship is useful in understanding both problems. One man is working his way through bereavement, the other, a man who having gained a BSc(hons) then a masters degree has lost his will to continue. For both people the wind has changed and is blowing against them.

The numbness, anger and sadness experienced after the death of a loved one and reactions such as bouts of silence, sleeplessness, loss of energy, loss of appetite, withdrawal, and sudden uncontrollable tears, are a normal part of the grieving process until the pain starts to subside and we see life in a more positive light. Slowly time heals, we begin to accept our loss and we begin to carry on with our life. Some feelings do not go away, we just learn to live with them, we learn to cope. When there are multiple stress factors in our life, and the death of a loved one occurs, bereavement then becomes all the more difficult to cope with. We are then like a ship beating to windward in a storm with torn sails.

The second man lost his job twelve years ago through illness and having decided on a new career direction. His initial positive motivation took him to university to study for a degree, his success there led him on to study for one year masters degree which he has just completed. But now the winds have changed for him, he is no longer studying, he has not got the employment he thought he would get with his new degree. He thinks this is because of his age and now he is at home, depressed, angry with the world, not sure if he made the right decisions, not sure what to do next. This man is like a ship in a storm sailing on to a lee shore. I do not use the metaphor lightly I have been there both at sea and in life.

But it's the set of the sails and not the gales that tell which way to go!

There is a way we can change the predicament we find ourselves in, we can change tack and beat our way to windward, round the headland and shelter in calmer waters. What we need is to give our selves time, find the will to change and go for it.

Breathe deep, take up the challenge, change your life.